Home. Again.

The grasses is always greener on the other side of the fence.

Sometimes, or if you must, most of the times I felt that way.
London makes me miss home so very much.
The contrast that existed around me makes me think of home most of the time.
I made plans to come home so that I can put my homesick to the end, which in most cases never happens.
Since 2006, I was travelling out of my hometown to the foreign places for study.
So far, I've been in three places, two states in a country and two countries of two different continent.
Every time the experience is different. Sometimes it was the different kinda experience and feeling to be at and feel.
The love you found is distinct and the hate you encounter makes the world is just the same, cruel.

You must understands that when I was in Tawau, I was not able to discover that world because I was so insecure and living under my own roof. Foreign places are just so... foreign. Yet, Tawau until today is always the place that I feel new. Place to discover. Before I was 'old' enough, I was away to be in a new foreign place. I am a tourist in my own hometown.

KL is always close to my heart because I basically became a man (hardly I know) that my 17 years old wanna be. Exploring the narrow road (literally of course) and the big blue sea (again, literal speaking). They are my fears and  my insecurities.
It somehow prepares me for London, the big blue sea (more of a big white city) with vicious sharks yet with a great opportunity surrounds it.
Again, KL calls me a tourist.
I hope I will be coming back here often. This small city makes me feel big at times whenever I'm back from London.

Soon I will be back in the land of the Queen.
For now, the grass from LCCT is greener but its a painful 12 hours mowing journey. urgh.
I just wish that scientist put more effort on inventing portal door to transport in a blink of an eye.
There will be no waiting around or more not spend.

Oh Jesus, please take the wheel, or just keep my will to travel please.

Borneo Boi xoxoxo

Out of My Mind.

This entry is dedicated to all the teachers in the world, new & old, experienced & novice.

Sir Ken Robinson, Out of Our Minds

I finally managed to finished the book that was introduced to me 2 weeks ago, Out of Our Mind by Sir Ken Robinson. I would like to start off by saying what a book!

With all the praises for this book, it would never enough as it changed the way I think and the way I perceive creativity.
I always think that I am a creative person. Growing up, I always love dancing, singing, drawing, and all that artistry activities. School never really sharpen my talents as I am always stuffed with homework and 'more important' subjects. If I didn't join my local church, I probably don't think my talents will launch and bloom. As learning takes me to everywhere other than my home, I am always struggling to find a place to express myself through these things that I love doing.
I get discourage or to be precise, bitter with my talents. For sure I have them but I can't benefit from them.

This book make me realise that I don't need a place or organisations to help me bloom - it would be great if there's a place to help me, but in whatever you do, you can always be creative. You doesn't require a clay, dance floor, or music sheets. All you need is interest and passion for whatever you're doing. Be creative in your own way as creative is very individuaistic.

Sir Ken tries to help you understand your very specific self, from how your brain works and why it is the way it is. Then, to your society, school, organisation, country and the world. He'll show you how all of these knit to each other and they can't stand alone though creativity is personal.

Personally, reading this book is like Moses receiving torah from God. It is a bible for someone that wants to be creative and especially it is for people in teaching profession to realise how creativity is the main key to unlock the students' abilities.
Every discussions that I have in my Master class always I quoted Sir Ken's word or his perspective because I am a believer now. If creativity is a religion, I am the follower, and his book is my bible.

He also revealed why we are so in a dogmatic situation towards grade, intelligence, school, teaching, creativity, and everything in between.

I can't help it to highlight every single wisdom words from the book and note down for the future reference, or more likely for my own reference.

In my opinion, this is the book that every single person, especially people who works with students in any level and disciplines, should read before deciding to be a teacher.

If you think teaching is not as professional job or an easy job, try to inspire at least one person and come back to him again in 5 years whether he still even know your name (or even recognise your face.) If they failed to do so, you are basically wrong by saying it is harder to be an engineer or a doctor. The time, the effort, the involvement in a relationship is much demanding for teacher-student relationship.

Go and learn to be creative.

xoxo

Sexism

My issue: 

When a woman is doing a man's job they are called a strong woman, an independent lady, and inspiring figure. However, when a man is doing woman's job, like cleaning, taking care of the children, or being a nurse, we say that they are feminine guy, sissy, weak, and the list goes on and on. 

My question: WHY? 

Why can't we accept equality among HUMAN, not man nor woman, HUMAN equality. 

Do you think it is easier to become a single dad than a single mom? 

Do you think a man is weak to cry from relationship breakup? 

Do you think it's wrong for a man to greet his wife from work? 

My argument: 

We always talks about women's power. Feminism. 

Yet, when a man is doing 'girly' stuff, we tease them for being such a p***y. Such a girl. Such a WEAK. 

And if you are a woman, you should be ashamed of yourself, because you think a girl is weak. 

That is like spitting up to the air.

And if you are a man, I hope no woman would fall for you. 

My example: 

When I was in secondary school, I always hated my PE class. I admit that I am kaki bangku (can't play football). But for my school, not knowing how to play it is somehow a disease. So, my PE teacher literally forced me to play and if I refuse, he'll cane. I explained to him my kaki bangku situation and asked for permission to play volleyball instead. His answer to me, oh wait for it, 'That's a girl's game.' 

The entire 60 minutes of the chasing ball games, I just stood there in the middle watching the ball being kicked. He never knew that I am good in volleyball, well at least WAY much better than football. 

Another example came from an event a few years back. A friendly conversation turns into an awkward silence and I'm sure a volcanic eruption anger in my inner universe, when someone close to me suggest that I should go to gym to 'build my character.' The rest is history. I rather go to hell if heaven accept people that don't accept me for who I am. My belief taught me how to LOVE. 

We set our world to a lot of laws and regulations, mostly are stupid. 

We darken our students with grades. 

We says only a man should be the head of the organisation. 

We believe an answer to sins is hell. 

We think skirts is for ladies and pants for men. 

Think about this, why we called a coward p***y and a bad man d**k? 

Yet again, we think we are free minded generation. 

Sexism isn't sexi. 

bla bla bla...

Kita.

KAMU,

Aku kenal hanya seketika, tapi

Aku hampir mengerti hidup kamu, bukan

Aku menghakimi, tapi 

Aku cuba memahami. 

MEREKA, 

Salah faham, 

Tidak memahami,

hanya memberi lebam,

dan melupai. 

AKU, 

Hanya mencuba, 

memahami 

mengerti 

mengasihi 

dan mengingati. 

Namun, cukupkah apa aku perbuat? 

Untuk membantu kamu? 

Persoalannya, 

Mengapa kamu diperlakukan sedemikan rupa? 

Apa alasan mereka melakukannya? 

Bagaimana harus aku memperbaiki hubungan ini? 

Hubungan KITA. 

Pelajar + Guru = Kita. 

Kata-kata sahaja takkan mampu memperbaiki.

Cuma perbuatan semata. 

Hakikinya, dimana bermula? 

Siapa memulai? 

Kemana arah? 

Peta arah ini berbunyi seperti, 

 Titik permulaan = kamu, 

Pemulai = mereka,

Penyambung = aku.

Keinginan aku hanya ingin memberi pengalaman ku. 

Memberi kamu kesenangan semasa dan selepas kamu menuntut ilmu. 

To be continued...

xoxo

Cikgu Gill 

P/S: Cikgu tak berapa nak pandai mengarang dalam BM. SPM cikgu dapat 3B jer pun. 

Things I should've Said...

is...

How grateful I am to know each and everyone of you, TESLians.

it started with...Alicia whom I met from the choir team for orientation week.

She intro me to her friend, Esther J. P (and her roomie).

and to her bestie, Puyang Lawrence, whom later turned to be Burlesquer!

in Christ alone...

you never walk alone,

when He intro me to Anna & Jess Yim to bring me to City Harvest with Fish Kee.

then...

I started to show up in their shows (by invitation of course)

- 1st year show.

- final year show - The Animal Farm. AND

- TESL Ball.

then I lead...

with Dr. Angelo as a guide, leadership class is the reason why I always have a BBQs with them and Choo Gui Chan & Lily Woon,

then I write...

with Dineshwari & Lydia .C in the most critical & impossible to please lecturer/writer's class.

then we party...

HARD!

with Nikki Hilary sat beside me, and her man, Devan, whom later turned to our driver!

there...
I can recognise (at least) by faces, each & EVERYONE of them, TESLians.

I have more friends in TESL than my own course mates.
in fact, I wrote a letter to the Dean saying I wanna be TESLian!
which they turned down cuz of bla bla bla.

and now, the Jrs., is my friends, too.

If you never know nor believe me before, I would like to say, this is real, when I say,
I AM TODAY BCUZ OF EACH ONE OF YOU.

Thats what I should say to you that night...

xoxo
g