Out of My Mind.

This entry is dedicated to all the teachers in the world, new & old, experienced & novice.

Sir Ken Robinson, Out of Our Minds

I finally managed to finished the book that was introduced to me 2 weeks ago, Out of Our Mind by Sir Ken Robinson. I would like to start off by saying what a book!

With all the praises for this book, it would never enough as it changed the way I think and the way I perceive creativity.
I always think that I am a creative person. Growing up, I always love dancing, singing, drawing, and all that artistry activities. School never really sharpen my talents as I am always stuffed with homework and 'more important' subjects. If I didn't join my local church, I probably don't think my talents will launch and bloom. As learning takes me to everywhere other than my home, I am always struggling to find a place to express myself through these things that I love doing.
I get discourage or to be precise, bitter with my talents. For sure I have them but I can't benefit from them.

This book make me realise that I don't need a place or organisations to help me bloom - it would be great if there's a place to help me, but in whatever you do, you can always be creative. You doesn't require a clay, dance floor, or music sheets. All you need is interest and passion for whatever you're doing. Be creative in your own way as creative is very individuaistic.

Sir Ken tries to help you understand your very specific self, from how your brain works and why it is the way it is. Then, to your society, school, organisation, country and the world. He'll show you how all of these knit to each other and they can't stand alone though creativity is personal.

Personally, reading this book is like Moses receiving torah from God. It is a bible for someone that wants to be creative and especially it is for people in teaching profession to realise how creativity is the main key to unlock the students' abilities.
Every discussions that I have in my Master class always I quoted Sir Ken's word or his perspective because I am a believer now. If creativity is a religion, I am the follower, and his book is my bible.

He also revealed why we are so in a dogmatic situation towards grade, intelligence, school, teaching, creativity, and everything in between.

I can't help it to highlight every single wisdom words from the book and note down for the future reference, or more likely for my own reference.

In my opinion, this is the book that every single person, especially people who works with students in any level and disciplines, should read before deciding to be a teacher.

If you think teaching is not as professional job or an easy job, try to inspire at least one person and come back to him again in 5 years whether he still even know your name (or even recognise your face.) If they failed to do so, you are basically wrong by saying it is harder to be an engineer or a doctor. The time, the effort, the involvement in a relationship is much demanding for teacher-student relationship.

Go and learn to be creative.

xoxo

Brunel. British. Brixton. & Bullsh*ts.

So I started my course in uni now. Officially done for the first week. That's the reason even the title sounded like a academic paper writing.

Brunel.

Wonderful campus. Mixture of nationalities & background. This is the closest I can get to feel like home. However, the pressure is on! My class is twice a week for 3 hours per session. There are part-time students & full-time students. So you're meeting almost half of a different people every time you enter the class. Back in Malaysia, I thought I am confident & well spoken young man. My classmates are like black hole, sucking anything that pass their way including my light! I used to shine in education classes before but now, I am just invisible & timid little soul trapped with this amazing creatures filled with glowing experiences. Though I acknowledge Dr. Angelo's opinion about get into the field for couple of years & then go for MA to gain some experiences so that you won't be a parasite in the classroom, I still go for MA. I am going to be a parasite for some time. On a better note, with all these experienced teachers surrounding me, I can learn from them & even visit their schools to get a better idea. And a note for me, whatever that I do, being confident is the key. (More news on Brunel in the future blogs)

British.

Can be very annoying at times but they are friendly by nature (mostly). Undeniably, this is one of the greatest country in the world & Malaysian do look up to here. It is funny that they think they are not & think Asian are better. I guess, the grasses are greener on the side of the fence. And oh, haven't mingle around with the Brits that much. Soon I guess.

Brixton.

This is my new neighbourhood. It is so ghetto (not as much as before though) that it makes H&M looks like a corner shop. In the meantime in KL, we lined up to get into the newly build H&M in Lot 10.
The journey to campus from here is a bit long & cold. I have to spend at least 2 hours to/from campus. That's the downside of living here but the city is just 15 minutes away. School is twice a week, and I have 5 days not going to campus, so I guess it's a good bargain to live here.

Bullsh*ts.

I love the chilly weather and sometimes a great sun shows herself for a day or two. Now I know how precious sunshine can be. Back in Malaysia, sunny days should be avoided if you still wish to be sane. I guess it's not the same sun since it gives you a different kind of feeling being under it.

Overall, I am thankful to be here with just a few steps from finding my dreams & everything that is being given to me so far. I'm gonna work harder than I've ever been.

Prayer is what I need from you guys. :)

xoxo

brunelboy

Dreams.

I am a dreamer. Was. Still. & Always. 

I used to dream about being a doctor. Going to Australia. Being a singer. And fly like Wong Fei Hong. 

For me, dreams are defines as to fulfil my desires for my own happiness. 

Ahhh... What a feelin'. 

Today, March 7, 2012, that definition defines me as a SELFISH man! 

Why? 

Bcuz, even when I am dreamin', all I can think of is my happiness. MY OWN. 

Realising that this world is comprises of 6.999 billion of people, and if those numbers are made up of selfish people, 

we would have 6.999 billion of cars, 

6.999 billion of houses, 

6.999 billion of every single thing. 

Bcuz we want to have everything TO. OUR. OWN.

These couple of months after I finished my Bachelor Degree, my mind has been occupied with What's Next questions. Where would I be. What I wanna do. Who am I gonna be. 

Then I stumbled to one quote from Edgar Cayce saying, Dreams are today's answers to tomorrow's questions. 

In order to answer my What's Next questions, I start to dream. 

Everyday, my dreams are getting bigger and wilder. At one point, I can't even contain my dreams bcuz I get too excited. I've lost it. Lost in my own dreams. 

Why? Bcuz I kept on dreaming FOR myself. Over and over again. 

Dreams is like this. 

They need to be achieve. Once you succeeded, do you find a new dream or didya stick with them and die with it? That is the actual question that we all need to figure out. 

So I look inside the vessel that holds my dreams and wishes. 

All I can find is myself. Only me. I say to myself, What is there when you only have dreams to yourself and no one to share with? What is happiness when you're alone? 

It is like dreaming to be in Antarctic by yourself for the rest of your life. Maybe some of you want that, but that is not dreaming, that is isolation. 

Having said that, it doesn't mean you have to give up your selfish dreams. All that we should do is ENHANCE those dreams to a different realm than it is not. 

Possibly, share them. 

I almost forgot why I wanna be a doctor when I was a kid. It is bcuz that the fact that my eldest sister passed away not due to Malaria but bcuz of the slow service of the doctors/nurses in my kampung's clinic. Listening to that sad story, as a kid, I promised to myself that I would be a successful MD whom actually save lives. Be the honest Dr. Be the people's Dr. Be the Dr that save someone's sister. 

I dream FOR people. 

Though now I can't be a doctor, I can educate future doctors. *wink* 

Teaching is my passion now. 

So, for me to become a great teacher, I should include myself, my students, my school into my dreams. These are the few ingredients for a better education. 

From now on, for whatever that I planned to do, and what I am destined to be, I would always dream for people. 

Dream on people 

xoxo

Sexism

My issue: 

When a woman is doing a man's job they are called a strong woman, an independent lady, and inspiring figure. However, when a man is doing woman's job, like cleaning, taking care of the children, or being a nurse, we say that they are feminine guy, sissy, weak, and the list goes on and on. 

My question: WHY? 

Why can't we accept equality among HUMAN, not man nor woman, HUMAN equality. 

Do you think it is easier to become a single dad than a single mom? 

Do you think a man is weak to cry from relationship breakup? 

Do you think it's wrong for a man to greet his wife from work? 

My argument: 

We always talks about women's power. Feminism. 

Yet, when a man is doing 'girly' stuff, we tease them for being such a p***y. Such a girl. Such a WEAK. 

And if you are a woman, you should be ashamed of yourself, because you think a girl is weak. 

That is like spitting up to the air.

And if you are a man, I hope no woman would fall for you. 

My example: 

When I was in secondary school, I always hated my PE class. I admit that I am kaki bangku (can't play football). But for my school, not knowing how to play it is somehow a disease. So, my PE teacher literally forced me to play and if I refuse, he'll cane. I explained to him my kaki bangku situation and asked for permission to play volleyball instead. His answer to me, oh wait for it, 'That's a girl's game.' 

The entire 60 minutes of the chasing ball games, I just stood there in the middle watching the ball being kicked. He never knew that I am good in volleyball, well at least WAY much better than football. 

Another example came from an event a few years back. A friendly conversation turns into an awkward silence and I'm sure a volcanic eruption anger in my inner universe, when someone close to me suggest that I should go to gym to 'build my character.' The rest is history. I rather go to hell if heaven accept people that don't accept me for who I am. My belief taught me how to LOVE. 

We set our world to a lot of laws and regulations, mostly are stupid. 

We darken our students with grades. 

We says only a man should be the head of the organisation. 

We believe an answer to sins is hell. 

We think skirts is for ladies and pants for men. 

Think about this, why we called a coward p***y and a bad man d**k? 

Yet again, we think we are free minded generation. 

Sexism isn't sexi. 

bla bla bla...

Kita.

KAMU,

Aku kenal hanya seketika, tapi

Aku hampir mengerti hidup kamu, bukan

Aku menghakimi, tapi 

Aku cuba memahami. 

MEREKA, 

Salah faham, 

Tidak memahami,

hanya memberi lebam,

dan melupai. 

AKU, 

Hanya mencuba, 

memahami 

mengerti 

mengasihi 

dan mengingati. 

Namun, cukupkah apa aku perbuat? 

Untuk membantu kamu? 

Persoalannya, 

Mengapa kamu diperlakukan sedemikan rupa? 

Apa alasan mereka melakukannya? 

Bagaimana harus aku memperbaiki hubungan ini? 

Hubungan KITA. 

Pelajar + Guru = Kita. 

Kata-kata sahaja takkan mampu memperbaiki.

Cuma perbuatan semata. 

Hakikinya, dimana bermula? 

Siapa memulai? 

Kemana arah? 

Peta arah ini berbunyi seperti, 

 Titik permulaan = kamu, 

Pemulai = mereka,

Penyambung = aku.

Keinginan aku hanya ingin memberi pengalaman ku. 

Memberi kamu kesenangan semasa dan selepas kamu menuntut ilmu. 

To be continued...

xoxo

Cikgu Gill 

P/S: Cikgu tak berapa nak pandai mengarang dalam BM. SPM cikgu dapat 3B jer pun. 

Hook the Look.

I'm sorry dear blog that I have neglected you and have not entertain your body like I used to.

Life has become crazy and crazier with each day.Now I am half way thru of my teaching practice, which gives me the inside of our teacher's room & the reality of this career.

Its surreal that I am now a teacher when I still smell my teen years that I spent in my school back home.

Well I am here not to tell you about that but what I feel so far about me being teacher.

I don't believe when one of my friend who works for a good company in Singapore have to grow beard just to look old enuff for the profession since he's working with far more experienced and old business men & women.

He look way much older than his real age, 29.

I commented to that as 'it's ridiculous and you shouldn't be changing your look for that'.

Little that I know, it is important to look your profession.

I am 5'5". 165cm tall. Waist of 29/30.

An average male teacher in my school is twice my size!

Need I to say more?

I look just like my student. It becomes more clearer and clear today as we have our annual sports day.

I turned up in the stadium with my green T-shirt just like any other students in my house.

Some of the teachers mistaken me with the students and for the students that dunno me, they don't take me seriously when I give orders or questions. Sigh is the only thing that I can do at that moment.

Kept asking my fellow practical teachers how the hell am I to look the profession?

It's not my fault that I am small in size!

That's not all. In fact that's not the worse!

Teachers easily commented in the hallway when I passed by with the students (I have a green shirt that look like Student's Fellow) that they mistaken me for that students.

Feel embarrassed and down.

But for most of the time, I am a half full kinda person.

I can passed of being 16 or 17!!

xoxo

the small teacher, Gilly

Things I should've Said...

is...

How grateful I am to know each and everyone of you, TESLians.

it started with...Alicia whom I met from the choir team for orientation week.

She intro me to her friend, Esther J. P (and her roomie).

and to her bestie, Puyang Lawrence, whom later turned to be Burlesquer!

in Christ alone...

you never walk alone,

when He intro me to Anna & Jess Yim to bring me to City Harvest with Fish Kee.

then...

I started to show up in their shows (by invitation of course)

- 1st year show.

- final year show - The Animal Farm. AND

- TESL Ball.

then I lead...

with Dr. Angelo as a guide, leadership class is the reason why I always have a BBQs with them and Choo Gui Chan & Lily Woon,

then I write...

with Dineshwari & Lydia .C in the most critical & impossible to please lecturer/writer's class.

then we party...

HARD!

with Nikki Hilary sat beside me, and her man, Devan, whom later turned to our driver!

there...
I can recognise (at least) by faces, each & EVERYONE of them, TESLians.

I have more friends in TESL than my own course mates.
in fact, I wrote a letter to the Dean saying I wanna be TESLian!
which they turned down cuz of bla bla bla.

and now, the Jrs., is my friends, too.

If you never know nor believe me before, I would like to say, this is real, when I say,
I AM TODAY BCUZ OF EACH ONE OF YOU.

Thats what I should say to you that night...

xoxo
g