‘Gil, life is not about black and white, life is always grey’, Volvo said to me 2 years ago.

Looking back to it, yes it is true. Nothing in this life is white or black. Once you choose it, you let it be what you want no matter what people around you say about it. Because, at the end of the day, it’s your choices and all you can do is make what you think is right into reality. Though, at some point, the decision that you made might be turn out to be something that you don’t expect it to be, but let you carry on, and learn from it. Someone that is successful is not determine how high they can go, but how good they pick themselves up from the failures.

This week is about choices to me. Choices that I need to make for my future. I realise that I am not good at something especially on what I am studying now. I like teaching so much because it brings out the best of me. But when it comes to sciences, OMG, I am the most passive student in the class. And sometimes I feel that I am the blondes boi in the room, because I have that face but not that brain, which is useless. Looking at the results that I get, hmmm….I really need to change to something that I love, LOVE to do, like English. Though my English is not f**king perfect, but at least it is WAY much better than my sciences. BUT, my problem is, I already coming to my 3rd year and to change, MY GOD, its gonna take me forever to get the scroll!! But if I didn’t, the chances that I will be kicked out from campus is HIGH.

My family also counting on me to do the best in study because they believe that being teacher can change my family’s life, which is true. If I change, my parent might not like it because I have to extend a few more years than the estimate time and delay my 1st payment as a teacher. But it is more heartbreaking when they got the news that their beloved son whom they think is clever, being kicked out from school. NO, that’s not gonna happen either!

WHAT SHOULD I DO?!

There’s so much thing that I need to take consider now to make my choices. But one thing for sure, I thankful that I have people around me that believe in me and wanting the best for me also never want to giving up in me though they know I am kinda slow and not that clever. Thanks to you!

Jesus, I pray to you, to take this wheel from my hand, and let your glory shine thru me.

‘Till next entry.

P/S-12 days to go

(June 6th,2009)