Choices Part II

Some of you may know that I want to change my course from Science with Education to TESL in this coming semester.

So, today I made a move for it to happen.

As a start, I went to PTPTN whom providing me with study loan all this 2 years, to ask them about my loan after I’ve been approved to change the course. They gave me some shit that I don’t want to hear but have to swallow. I need to close the account for the previous courses and need to pay ALL of the loans that I’ve received from them to start a new account for a new course.

It’s been 2 years now, if my calculation is correct, I am suppose to owing them about RM10G. Yes, 10G!!

But, as I think and think, I can close the account, and not continue for loan from them(PTPTN), in fact I can get other loan like Yayasan Sabah or anything like that.

Oh, before I forgot, before I went and asked PTPTN, I did emailed my lecturer whom also the one that in charge with my batch. She is a great woman I can say. Nothing much coming out of that emailing, yet, but I believe it will work out.

I hope by talking to her, she can talk to my faculty’s Dean of Academic about my problem(as you can call it).

All of this can happen, ONLY after I’ve been approved to change my course. If not, I gotta carry on with what I do now, and maybe hoping that there’s miracle coming out of it. Well, miracle needs to work on though. And hoping I will not send home because of bad grades.

After what happen today in the PTPTN, I’ve been thinking about how many problems and obstacles I have in my life the whole 2 years I’m studying in UM. Which part that I done wrong? What I am lack on getting those grades? I know I am not dump, if I am, I will not be here today. But, I did study, but it keep coming back to the place that I don’t want to be. Am I not putting my whole strength in it? Or am I just someone that not being granted with ability to study what am I doing now? What is it!!???

Hope for someone that is reading this, please, if you ever pray, or maybe just wish for me, please pray that I can make this work, so that I can do what I want and having wisdom to carry on with decision and life making.

Other than that, I am thankful to my friend, Josh, he is such an awesome buddy that I know. He also taught me a lots about life and reality. More than that, he accept me in his life just as I am, though knowing who am I and what I had accomplish (well you know, with the bad grades and dunno how to do anything).

I also thankful with a great family. My dad just an awesome dad and always supporting me with what I want to do. Instead of saying just carry on with what you have now and not complicating your life and mine, he said to me, I dunno which best for you because you yourself know what you want, and chase for it.

In the other hand, my mom is a worrier. She worry to much about his boi and kinda not understand why I want to change.

I am doing this for my future and for their future. I don’t want them to get the news that their son that they put their hope in being send home because of bad grades.

‘Till nest entry,

P/S- 10 more days!!!

(written yesterday)

(June 9th,2009)