Undergrad grades.

I was in the bottom of my greatest valley of disappointment when I received my final semester's grades for Maths, which revealed that my very best is not enough to give me desirable grades. 

What more worse than after busting my butt out the entire semester, receiving insult after another, burning the midnight oil to prove something, until I worn myself out, it doesn't change the fact that I AM STILL SUCK in Maths. 

Way out of misery is what I seek for the entire week. If anyone or anything can give me a key to self-confidence once more, I would do anything to have it. However, nothing works.

At that time (and still at the moment), I am joing preparation class for IELTS. In addition to those 'You suck in Maths' moment, my grammar was so poor that I have to count on my 18-yo friend to teach me. 

I was at the wrong place in so many ways that very moment. 

My self-esteem was out of reach. 

My inner peace was at war. 

My physical and emotional energy was in debt. 

My happiness currency was at it lowest, going invaluable. 

Then, I use the power of friendship and respect to regain those lost feeling again. Not stumbling down to this, but I seek for comfort in my truest friend and teacher, Mr Reynoso. He said, 

'Let me tell you...nobody cares about college grades once you leave college!  So forget about them! If you tried your best that is all that matters.  Grades do NOT determine how successful you are going to be in life.  Good grades don't make you a good teacher.  Good grades don't make you a good person.  Good grades are only good for when you are in college...'

I jumped off my seat in realization that, 'F**k! What have I become?'

Those words and the fact that I notice very little to the fact that I only received 2/5 grades, this ain't the end! 

The REAL reality kicks in when officially, I can graduate (which was a struggle to get), I pass with honours, and now I am going for the IELTS with confidence creamed with 'There is nothing stopping you--expect for yourself'

Dear friends, your struggle was mine before, and still is.

 However, if you stop now, you won't be getting your real desirable result, which is waiting for you in the future. 

It’s hard. Yes. 

But to get the sharpest samurai blade is when they are knock and burned for so many times in long hours. 

After that, you'll be as clear as the blade's surface and you'll cut all the obstacles in front of you. 

Thank you struggles. Thank you teacher. Thank you life.  

Thank YOU, now I finally found my piece of mind once more. 

xoxo

The struggling dreamer.