I Need A New Bottle!

last night, he is not being himself.
being someone else that want to be accepted.
guess what?
the more he tried, the more he git rejection
he makes fool of himself and
I feel sorry for his pathetic-ness.

He don't see it coming, He don't.
I say, 'it rather your stupidity to not to see it
blindfolded yourself,
'I closed my eyes, then I don't see lo' '

He;
danced
sings
drink
just like what 'required'

but I guess he never gonna being noticed like the rest.
except; one-the fun and just broke up fat boy
two-rival?
grabbed the girls hands, kiss goodbye to the rest,
still, not being noticed we're leaving.
on the way back,
he started to winding around with the questions that made the girls and the taxi mate annoyed;
is it bcuz of my pimples?
or my hair? should i git it cut?
is it my not-Louboutin-shoes?
am i that ugly?
while the tears of self sympathy covering his eyes
and the cigarette smells all over his hairs, and hers
and that fat boy smells

'emoshunal?' I asked. He said 'Nah...'

I told him, 'Git a new bottle, bitch!!!'
It came with the SAME
shape,
taste,
brand, and
%tage of alcohol.

and, it might be better.

What hurt the most

What hurt the most, is being so close and having so much to say, yet seeing you walked away.
Never knowing what could've been and not seeing loving you is what I was trying to do.

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go,
It's hard to force that smile when I see my 'what could've been with you' happened to him,
It's hard to say OK when I am not,
It's hard to talk about it 'cuz it'll cost me tears.

I would trade give away the good bye with anything in my life.
But here comes the goodbye, here comes the pain, here comes me wishing things had never changed and you was right here in my arms tonight...

Why does it have to go from good to gone?

BUT,
I prayed to the good Lord, you both have a blast in your days, no matter whats gonna happen to us, the He'll lead the way.
before the lights on, I'm gonna be fine knowing that you'd chose the best.

Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road, but I guess no forgiveness given 'cuz there is nothing to forgive.

NOW,
There comes a time in my life, when all I can see is the years passing by,but lemme make up my mind that those days are gone.

I'll move on but most importantly I'll move forward.

your pickle,
g

Bonne année!

It's OVER! 2009 gonna be a year to remember in my life.
But 2010, it's gonna be the year that level up my life and striving the best that I ever achieve.

Let's rewind back what had happened in my life last year;

It starts with a new year resolution that somehow did shape my future in last year.
I thought it just a crazy dreams that I want to achieve.
But, hey, there is no harm in asking!
Thank God even crazy dreams come true!
End up in three beautiful places that somehow my childhood dream-place-to-visit (UK), feels darn good!!
These dreams of mine changes me a lot, for the better me, of course.

Talking about changing, I've known many of people around me going thru' some big changes in their life.
Struggle, tryin', lookin', believing that there's something more beyond the hill.
Some of them moved to get a new job, other moved from relationship, and some other tryin' to know themselves even more, while some other said that, they can't even imagine that they could love again!
It need a whole lot of guts to do some changes in life, unable to foresee whether they gonna be hire, whether the relationship is better than the previous one, whether the person is the right one for them, or how they gonna manage the new love they'd found?

Some says; changes is the only thing that is constant in our life, and yes!
I kept on changing in 2009. I struggled to find the right path to excel in my study, life, dreams, and my future. Did I find it complete yet? NO.
But the year totally teaching me so many thing; love, failures, friendship, companionship, belief in my dreams, and the most important thing is stay on the ground.
Sometime I treated my life like a fairytale, like Romeo & Juliet's love story kinda.
And it kills me most of the times. Well, at least I live and learned from it.

2010; gonna be blast! I just know it.

I wish myself the best of all the possibilities in the world and beyond, and to ya'll too.
Gill now know that crazy dreams can come true too as long as stay on the solid ground!

xoxo